Today marks a year that our little baby boy came into and out of our lives in one moment, one breath, that knocked us off our feet. (If you haven't read our story yet, click here). A lot of people who go through tragedy and suffering come out the other end and say that they learned so much, they wouldn't change it for the world, and if they had to do it all over again they wouldn't take back what happened.

For us, it's completely different. While I have learned a great deal since January 3, 2016, if I could I would go back and re-do everything in a heartbeat. I remember feeling so helpless at the time, knowing that there was absolutely nothing I could do. In a lot of ways I still feel helpless. I couldn't prevent anything from happening to Joel, and I couldn't stop the heartache that happened in our lives. If there's anything I could have done to change the end result I would have but instead here I sit, a year later, in disbelief that this ever happened to begin with.

Joel changed us. We never even met him and yet because of his short life we are different. As I reflect on the last year, I want to honor his memory and the ways his life and death changed us for the better despite the reality that it was the hardest thing we have ever had to walk through. Here's what we learned...