An Adoption Update - In It For the Long Haul

I realized the other day that it's been awhile since I lasted updated you on our adoption progress. It's not that it hasn't been on my mind all the time, but we are in an interesting period of time right now. All the paperwork has been filed, all the home study interviews have been completed, and we have nothing to do for the first time in about 9 months. Now, we wait.

We are waiting for a call to hear about our child coming home. It's a strange feeling, both exciting and a little anticlimactic in some ways. In all honesty, we do not expect to receive a call for a long time. We are certainly not the only families on the waiting list (sorry for all the adoption lingo!) and we have not been on the list very long. When I tell people this, it begs the question - how do we get chosen?

During our final home study interview, we were asked a series of questions about what child(ren) we would be able and willing to bring home. This was very hard and deeply personal for a lot of reasons, so I will not - and could not - list all that we said yes and no to. I will say that we do not care at all about gender, since that seems to be the most frequently asked question. There are a lot more factors than that, though, and we prayed and talked a lot before deciding.

Now that we are on the waiting list, when a birth mom decides to place her child for adoption, she will contact Bethany. They provide free counseling about what that means and will also ask her a series of questions about her child. She may not know all the answers, but she will provide as many as she can. From there, Bethany will select the profile books (basically a picture book of who we are and why we desire to adopt) of about 10-15 families who have said 'yes' to the individual factors that make this child unique.

The birth mom will then select a few books, may or may not interview 2-3 families, and will choose from there. Each adoption happens differently and some moms may not want to meet the families before her child is born, but this is the way Bethany encourages things to transpire. For that reason, parents who have more narrow selections about their future child will wait a bit longer than parents who have decided they can handle more factors.

All that to say - we are waiting. And we honestly have no idea how long the wait will be. We could be chosen by the first mother to see our profile or we could be shown to a dozen before the right child comes along. Either way we have peace. God is in control of our lives, our child, and the timing of it all. Your support and questions have meant the world to Nathan and me, so don't feel like you shouldn't ask about what's going on - we love talking about what's coming for our family and we love that you've become such a big part of that.

Click here to see more of our adoption journey, or search the hashtag #findingourspady on Instagram!

Letters to Our (Future) Child, Part 3 // Monday Musings

Click here to view Letter 1.
Click here to view Letter 2.

Dear Little One,
The last few weeks have been strangely hard for me. I've watched countless couples - almost one every day! - announce that they are expecting a child. I am so excited for them, but my heart has begun to ache for you as well.

Let me be clear: I am not missing out on a thing. Not for one second do I wish you were coming to us in a different way. We have chosen to grow our family through adoption, and we know that each day brings us closer to meeting OUR little one, one day nearer to holding you in our arms. You are our child, the same way I am my parents' child, and the same way all these new babies belong to their moms and dads.

No, my heart aches because I can't yet see you to celebrate you. I can't watch you grow. I can't see your little eyes forming, or let a doctor measure how quickly your heart beats each minute. In fact, I can't even be sure that you are more than a thought in God's heart yet - you may not have even begun your life as we know it.

I wish I could know you from the very beginning. I wish I could marvel over pictures of you when you're only the size of a peach. I wish I could be there at the moment we find out if you're a girl or a boy.

And yet, you still belong to us. When you are finally here, I get to be there for every important moment, and for all the growing up you have to do as a child, adolescent, and adult. The first time you sit up, your first step, your first word. I get to teach you  how to eat real food, how to clap your hands to a song. I get to teach you about who God is.

So maybe it is hard right now to know that you may be growing and I don't get to see you until you're done. But the beauty of all this is that I get to be there for every big moment that you will remember. Though I'll start a few months later than most, I still get to be your mom for the rest of your life. And that's more than worth the wait. I love you.

Love,
Your (Future) Mommy

Today is the Day // Monday Musings

Today is the day.

It's the day we are officially on the waiting list for our little one. It's the day we've been waiting for since last September, when we sat at an information meeting for a few hours late one Tuesday night. It's the end of a road filled with paperwork and lots of waiting, and the beginning of another journey filled with even more waiting but a little more hope.

Over the last 6 months we've prayed and cried and laughed. We've wondered why things seemed to take so long, then been shocked when all of a sudden our home study was completed. We've grown together. We've been through so many life changes. (Read about them here and here) We went to a training and learned so much about the process, and about ourselves in this grand story of adoption.

Today feels a little surreal, because we've been waiting for so long. Yet I know that we have a winding road in front of us. I know that the waiting will seem even harder at times, and there will be disappointments along the way. What's most surreal, though, is imagining the end of this journey, which begins a whole new path of parenting when we first hold our little one in our arms.

I've poured more and more of my heart into adoption the last few months. Not just our adoption, but the stories that swirl around us every day. Talking about the process so openly has connected us with so many families - from those who know someone in the process to those just thinking about it. We've been blown away, humbled, and blessed by the response of people we've never even met who go out of their way to talk to us about this part in our lives.

Right now it seems so big, and so daunting, and so unreal. Yet I know in a few years, when we've settled down, I will (in some ways) be like every other mom. I'll have moments of utter panic, followed by times of joy as my child (or children?!) grows up. I imagine that we'll go through many of the same struggles that countless others have gone through before us, whether their child is biological or adopted.

At times like this, I get introspective. What will life look like in a year, or five years, or ten years? How many children will find their home inside of ours? What will our family look like? 

I know none of the answers to these questions, but I wait with a quiet excitement knowing that some day I will. I'm writing this as much for myself as I am for you, on the other side of the screen, reading this. I never want to forget the anticipation and hope in waiting. When it's been months and we haven't heard a thing, I want to remember that there are blessings in the before, during, and after. I don't want to wish away where I am now to jump to the next place we're going to be.

May patience, ever my most elusive virtue, find me during this new time of waiting. I know in my heart of hearts that the end of this journey will be well worth waiting for.

View more of our adoption story by clicking here.