Becoming an Adult | Monday Musings

Becoming an Adult | Monday Musings

When I was in high school I flew by myself for the first time. I was going to visit my grandma and I had to make a few connecting flights. Because I was oh-so-responsible I stayed up far too late the night before and, as I sat in the terminal the next day, an announcement came on about a change in gates while I was fast asleep. I ended up missing my connecting flight and went into the bathroom to shed some tears. I remember feeling like such a small child, unable to even fly successfully by myself.

Eventually I got there, but I drank all kinds of coffee to prevent the same mistake on my return trip. I was so worried about getting myself from Point A to Point B that I couldn't think of anything else.

Four or five years later, when I got married, I was crippled by fear...

Celebrating the Birth of Willow | Personal

Celebrating the Birth of Willow | Personal

Sunday was a completely overwhelming day for me, in the best possible way. My dear friends threw a baby sprinkle (a baby shower that happens after the baby already arrives) to celebrate the birth and life of Willow. I thought about posting on social media that day how much it all meant to me, but I was too overcome with emotions and exhaustion to say anything. Now, a few days later, I am ready.

One year ago, in the middle of August, Nathan and I decided to take our names off the adoption list for awhile. We had just experienced our third failed adoption in 7 short months, and it was too much for us to bear. After the third fell through we very quietly took a long weekend away in Alexandria. I got a massage, we ate good food, and spent time reconnecting. It was honestly a very difficult weekend for us. We were exhausted after just having come back from our second trip to Africa that year and emotionally worn out from all the turmoil that began with Joel's passing in January.

The Kind of Mom Who... | Monday Musings

The Kind of Mom Who... | Monday Musings

I knew before I became a mom that when and if the time ever came, it would be a huge adjustment for me. And it has been! It's one I'm incredibly grateful for, because it is already teaching me to be less selfish, more loving, and more attentive to the needs of others rather than myself. But any transition is difficult, and any change can be painful. Over the last month I've been thinking about the kind of mom I want to be, and here's what I have realized...

I want to be the kind of mom who puts my relationship with God first. Before gym time, before 'me' time, and even before family time...I forever want to model to Willow what's most important in life.

I want to be the kind of mom who doesn't get frustrated when...