Today is a continuation of the blog series "Beyond the Big Day." These blogs are intended to help engaged couples, newlyweds, and anyone who is open to wisdom from others who have been married and learned a few things from it! Today you'll hear from my sweet husband, who finally agreed to write a blog for me :)
Marriage. Ahh, what a wonderful thing. We savor each other's presence on the wedding day, looking into each other's eyes as we make our vows 'before God and man' and dreaming of our futures together.
Romanticized and found wanting, the marriage we dreamed of crashes and leaves us utterly flabbergasted. Not for all, but for many married couples divorce will be the final kiss goodbye. What about the commitment? What about the vows we took? 'To have and to hold from this day forward 'til death do us part' is quickly forgotten in the midst of career visions, children, moving, and family ties.
I do not question the inception of marriage. I do not question the validity of marriage. I do not question the desire for marriage. I do, however, question the purpose of marriage as we know it.
We all know that every little girl grows up waiting for the day that her knight in shining armor will appear. As this little girl gets older, she grows up waiting to find her fulfillment in the man who will become her husband.
On the other hand, most little boys think girls have cooties. Something happens during the passing years, however, that makes the young man’s heart flutter, and soon he has a similar desire to find that one that he can woo and win, calling her his own.
Perhaps this fulfillment in another is the reason that marriages end up in failure. As the old saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt. The little girl, who by now has gone through many failures and disappointments, looks again for a new knight in shining armor to deliver her from her current “dungeon.” The little boy, after winning over his princess, seeks another goal and another thrill to fulfill his quest for adventure. This often leads to a breaking point, where the little boy and little girl who once were so in love instead, with restless hearts, decide to find fulfillment elsewhere.
Some might call this view antiquated or outdated, but I look to the Bible to find my reasoning behind marriage. Genesis recounts to us the story of Adam and Eve who were bonded together due to Adam’s incompleteness. Adam needed someone who would walk beside him and be there for him. Eve fulfilled that purpose and found what she needed in her husband. Marriage was held in the highest esteem throughout the Old Testament and even into the New (Jesus’ first miracle was at a wedding). This vow taken by two people could only be maintained by a desire greater than the two individuals – that of seeking after ultimate fulfillment. I have seen that without our utmost desires being fulfilled in a relationship with the God of the Bible, the only hope we have for saving our marriages is luck, the flip of a coin.
If you don’t consider having a relationship with this God something worthy of your pursuit, I would love to spend some time talking about it with you. I wish you the best and hope that you find fulfillment in Him, allowing your marriage to take shape and be blessed.
Click here to read more from the Beyond the Big Day series.
Nathan is a graduate of Virginia Tech and currently works at a church as the IT Specialist. He is my husband of over 4 years and my best friend. He is starting seminary this fall with the hopes of achieving his Master's of Divinity in Apologetics. When he isn't second shooting weddings, he loves long boarding, reading, and playing bass guitar.
