I wrote a few months ago to celebrate Nathan’s and my third anniversary. At the time it just flowed naturally, but the reaction to it was hilarious. So many people were expecting a mushy blog about how we have come so far and conquered so much in 3 years. I could absolutely write that blog, because it’s so true that I love him with all my heart, but in general, that’s not US. So I thought I’d explain a little bit about who US is.
In a lot of ways, Nathan and I are a typical couple. We love each other, we like each other, we have the same sense of humor, and we have a ton of inside jokes that are way too embarrassing to talk about :) But our unique personalities have really come out in the last three years, and especially this past year.
Many of you know that Nathan is in a band, and of course I run a photography business. If you run a small business, you KNOW how much that changes our relationship. Since we both work full time, we spend our evenings working on band & photography things. A lot of our conversation is on how to best utilize social media for our respective uses, and the weekends I have spare time apart from weddings and portraits are spent at Nathan’s gigs.
There are definitely some difficulties that come out of this. Our time with each other is a very valuable commodity, and we really have to make good use of it to maintain a healthy relationship. I don’t think I could tell you the last time we sat down and just watched a movie together, just the two of us. That sounds crazy, but it’s true. We use the little time we have to the fullest - when we’re both going somewhere after dinner, we’ll have a full conversation while we eat. When Nathan has band practice all afternoon and I’m volunteering all morning on Sundays, we try to spend a good chunk of time in the evening together. Nathan plays bass while I edit. In the same room. That’s how a lot of our time is spent together.
Over time, though, we both have come to love what we have going on. Sure, it can be difficult to be intentional about being together. One of our biggest challenges is that we never want to hold the other person back. We both understand how driven the other is, and so it’s hard to ask the other to stop what they’re doing to spend time together, if it’s something important. I think this is the reason it works. If I was coming home to make dinner and just be, and Nathan was into his band stuff, it would be difficult for me to understand. And vise versa. If I was shooting a wedding all weekend and then coming straight back to write a blog while Nathan just hung out at the house, he would have a hard time getting it.
And yet, it works. It just does. We have to work at it, and we have to be wise with our time, but I love it. I love that I have to work on a laptop without wireless while the guys set up their band equipment. I love that Nathan will call me on a random weekday and ask if his band buddies can come over for dinner. I love that we can be so grateful for the time we do have together, because the time in between is busy. So we cherish it.
It might be strange, and it might not work for everyone, but it works for us so well. This past year has brought us closer than ever, and I honestly would have quit photography awhile ago if not for Nathan. We complement each other and build each other up. We’re still figuring out this whole marriage thing, but we’re loving it while we do. Our marriage may look different to some, but that’s us. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.
Our Kind of Love // Spady Sunday
