Everybody Needs a Nathan // Monday Musings

I was talking to a friend the other day, and she asked how I got into photography. It's a pretty long story, and one that I will be sharing on this blog sometime soon, but I told her a brief version of what had happened. As I was talking, I realized that so much of my story involves my sweet husband Nathan.

Nathan is the one who encouraged me to buy my first nice camera.
He is the one who bit the bullet (willingly) and bought my next camera, a DSLR that carried me through so much second shooting and a few weddings.
He encouraged me to go to photography school.
He saw my pictures and was honest with me - even when it hurt - about what I could do to be better.
He started second shooting with me, and has dug into the craft, learning not how to be the best photographer in the world, but how to be the best helper he possibly can to me.
He gave me the gift of time and independence to allow me to pursue my dream.

Ultimately, he is the one who brought up the question of going part time at my job so I could work harder at the thing I love.

I won't tell the whole story today, but I realize that everybody needs a Nathan. Everybody needs someone in their corner to fight for them and encourage them, even when nobody else will. It's not all sunshine and roses, and there will always be people along your path that doubt you, discourage you, or in general just don't support your dream. But find someone - that one person, or that group of friends, that will be a constant encouragement to you.

Find someone that won't think you're crazy when you want to make something into a career that you've never tried before.
Find someone who will understand when you pour hours into something with no return - yet.
Find a friend who will listen to all of the ups and downs of what you're going through, even if they have no idea what you're talking about.
Find someone who doesn't doubt you, even when your talents and abilities don't match your passion.
Find someone who is passionate about the things they love, and brings out the passion in you.

What I mean to say is that your passion needs no further improvement. That thing you love, even if nobody else loves it - that's where your heart is. You don't need to justify it, add to it, or take away from it. You don't need to make it more palatable for someone else. You don't need to be afraid of the people around you who might not understand.

Find someone who gets it. Find someone who loves you through it. Find someone who pushes you to be better, work harder, do more, and find your calling in life. If you don't already have one, find your Nathan.

Fighting My Inner Jealousy // Monday Musings

Jealousy is a tough thing. It can creep up on you when you least expect it, and it always comes when you’re not ready to handle it. It lurks in the background of many friendships, waiting for the opportunity to jump out at your weakest point, tainting the relationship that you’ve held dear for so long.

Anyone can relate to jealousy. It’s one of the strongest emotions we can feel. Whether it’s related to work achievements, physical appearance, or something else entirely, I know we can all agree that every bit of jealousy is exaggerated on social media. You’ve heard all the sayings – don’t compare your day to day with someone else’s highlights. You know you’re only seeing the BEST part of someone’s life, and the rest is not post-worthy. Yet, when her child is so well behaved, or when their marriage selfie pops up in the middle of a heated fight with your man, all of that little thing we call common sense flies out the window.

I’m guilty of it. I look at where other people are in their business or their lives and get jealous. I have thoughts that I should have started my business sooner. I wonder why someone else seems so successful when they’re less experienced or younger than I am. As much as this makes me cringe, sometimes it’s hard for me to be excited about someone else’s victories because I’m spending time comparing it to my own success (or lack thereof).

Combating this is a daily struggle, but it’s something I want to wrestle with. It’s an area of my life I don’t want to leave untouched. I want to be truly happy for people without feeling even a hint of FOMO (fear of missing out) for myself.

Ultimately, it’s not about me. It’s not about my successes, or even theirs. It’s about whether I’m using my time, talents, and resources to honor God. Whatever success He chooses to give me is all for Him anyways, and whatever He chooses not to give me was not meant for me in the first place.

So I am taking two steps to fight the jealousy that rises, and the comparison that threatens to steal my joy:
1)   Praying (for myself & the people who surround me)
2)   Reaching out and spending time with people in and outside of the wedding world, who I can celebrate with when they succeed.

They’re small steps, but any start is a good one. Today, I’m choosing to take those steps. Tomorrow, I may feel a little less jealous, and I may be able to celebrate a little more honestly. If every day progresses just like that, I know that the cloud of negativity that jealousy brings will continue to evaporate until it disappears altogether.

Click here for more Monday Musings!

Photo by the wonderful Tara Liebeck Photography

Today is the Day // Monday Musings

Today is the day.

It's the day we are officially on the waiting list for our little one. It's the day we've been waiting for since last September, when we sat at an information meeting for a few hours late one Tuesday night. It's the end of a road filled with paperwork and lots of waiting, and the beginning of another journey filled with even more waiting but a little more hope.

Over the last 6 months we've prayed and cried and laughed. We've wondered why things seemed to take so long, then been shocked when all of a sudden our home study was completed. We've grown together. We've been through so many life changes. (Read about them here and here) We went to a training and learned so much about the process, and about ourselves in this grand story of adoption.

Today feels a little surreal, because we've been waiting for so long. Yet I know that we have a winding road in front of us. I know that the waiting will seem even harder at times, and there will be disappointments along the way. What's most surreal, though, is imagining the end of this journey, which begins a whole new path of parenting when we first hold our little one in our arms.

I've poured more and more of my heart into adoption the last few months. Not just our adoption, but the stories that swirl around us every day. Talking about the process so openly has connected us with so many families - from those who know someone in the process to those just thinking about it. We've been blown away, humbled, and blessed by the response of people we've never even met who go out of their way to talk to us about this part in our lives.

Right now it seems so big, and so daunting, and so unreal. Yet I know in a few years, when we've settled down, I will (in some ways) be like every other mom. I'll have moments of utter panic, followed by times of joy as my child (or children?!) grows up. I imagine that we'll go through many of the same struggles that countless others have gone through before us, whether their child is biological or adopted.

At times like this, I get introspective. What will life look like in a year, or five years, or ten years? How many children will find their home inside of ours? What will our family look like? 

I know none of the answers to these questions, but I wait with a quiet excitement knowing that some day I will. I'm writing this as much for myself as I am for you, on the other side of the screen, reading this. I never want to forget the anticipation and hope in waiting. When it's been months and we haven't heard a thing, I want to remember that there are blessings in the before, during, and after. I don't want to wish away where I am now to jump to the next place we're going to be.

May patience, ever my most elusive virtue, find me during this new time of waiting. I know in my heart of hearts that the end of this journey will be well worth waiting for.

View more of our adoption story by clicking here.