Social Media, Privacy, and Celebrities // Beyond the Big Day

When Maria asked if I’d contribute to this awesome new series she’s putting together I thought, I’ve only been married eight years. What could I possibly have to contribute to someone who is about to walk down the aisle? Sure, hubby and I have had our fair share of fights and disagreements. And what “they” say is true; you’ll have more fights about money and sex than you will about anything else. However, I don’t want to talk about money or sex (that’s for a licensed professional), what I want to tell you sweet ladies is about privacy.

When I got married eight years ago, the world of social media was still in its relative infancy. My first Facebook post didn’t happen until I’d been married a little over a year. As I’ve become better connected, I’ve noticed what I’ll cautiously call a trend. Young women, with a boyfriend/fiancé/husband, feel the freedom to do one of two things that make me sad for the future of their relationship. They either feel the freedom to air all manner of dirty laundry or they love to flaunt their imaginary boyfriend.

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs got it right when he said that respect is the one thing men need to feel valued in a relationship. If your Facebook posts or Tweets resemble these statements:

“Men are so stupid.”                                                     
“I wish he would just get a clue.”                            
“Why can he NOT figure me out?!”                        

Then respect is the furthest thing from your mind. We all say things in the heat of the moment that we later regret. But posting them to any social media platform will only be kicking your man when he’s likely already down. Very, very early on I learned that any fight or disagreement between a husband and wife (or fiancées) is best left between them. When you call your mom, dad, sister, best friend, office mate, and post it online it will only exacerbate the situation. The sooner you learn to solve the issue with just the two of you, the quicker that every other disagreement will be solved.

So you’re thinking, we really don’t fight much. Or maybe you’d never post anything about an argument online. But what about that celebrity that you call your “boyfriend”? You know, the one who dominates your Twitter feed? The same guy who manages to show up as your Facebook profile picture every few months? Maybe he’s an actor in your favorite TV show or a well-built athlete. Now put yourself in your guy’s shoes. How would you feel if the woman who was on the latest cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition suddenly became his profile picture? Or if he was Tweeting every other day about the actress in the movie you just saw?

Sure, you can delete a post. You can take down a picture. But once it’s out there, someone has seen it. The instant you click “post”, the respect is gone and the work required to rebuild the trust  between you is significantly harder than had you kept it to yourself in the first place.

Click here to see more marriage advice from Beyond the Big Day. 

Hi, I'm Katie - I'm a 30-something wife (to M), mom (to N), and daughter of the King. I love weddings and have been a not-so-casual observer for the last 10 years. It's my ultimate goal to make a bride's day as stress-free as possible. In turn, it usually means that her mom and dad are pretty stress-free, too (except when it comes to paying for the reception!)
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Photo by Dani White Photography.

A New Series: Beyond the Big Day

I love weddings. I truly do. I will never get tired of the first time I see the bride as she gets her hair and makeup ready. The moments when her mom helps her put on the beautiful dress she's been excited about for months are precious. The first look with her dad is always a tear-jerker. I can't tell you how many times I've been blessed to witness firsthand the incredible reaction of a groom seeing his bride for the first time, whether before the ceremony or when she begins to walk down the aisle.

I love seeing the incredible time and effort displayed in weddings. From flowers to centerpieces to the venue itself, it's always so evident that each piece was chosen with intention and love. I can't imagine not being there to capture each of these moments, and to preserve them for a lifetime. I'm blessed to be in the industry I am. I'm blessed to meet the incredible people I've gotten the chance to know over the last few years. I'm truly hooked on weddings and all that they bring.

But weddings are just the beginning. They are one piece in a long road filled with joy and sorrow, laughter and tears. I know that my brides are always looking beyond the big day, to the life they are about to begin, and the journey that is about to start with their new husband - and family - by their side.

It is out of my desire to not just capture beautiful weddings, but create strong marriages, that this new series was born. I wanted to share advice from people of all ages and all walks of life. Every single person will experience different struggles, challenges, and triumphs in their marriages, so I wanted to make sure I got a balanced perspective - from newlyweds to couples married over 30 years, from vendors in the industry to women being superheroes in the everyday tasks of being a wife and mother, my heart is that this series will provide advice to any bride awaiting her big day - even if she isn't engaged yet.

The amazing part about this is that so many others share my vision, too. I have contributors ranging from my own mom, an amazing photographer, an event planner, a military spouse, and so much more. Each Friday, another piece of advice will be published, from a brand new perspective. Feel free to share it with friends, family members, and other brides. Even as a not-so-newlywed, I can't tell you how much I've learned from seeing the incredible advice and heart of the women who contributed.

Because a wedding is more than just a celebration, and a marriage lasts much longer than the flowers and the sparkler exit. Let's dive into how you can be successful beyond your big day.

Happy weekend, friends!

Hi there! My name is Maria, and I'm so glad you visited my blog. I am a wedding and family photographer based out of Hampton Roads, Virginia, but I have my passport and LOVE to travel! My heart is to capture the beautiful memories of your most joyful moments, and my desire is that couples have not only a gorgeous wedding, but a successful marriage. I lead a wonderful group called The Rising Tide Society in Hampton & Newport News, dedicated to creative entrepreneurs in the area.

I've been a photographer for 2 years, a wife for over 4 years, and we are in the process of adopting our first child. I can't wait to see what surprises life holds for us!