personal growth

The Lie I Told Myself | Monday Musings

The Lie I Told Myself | Monday Musings

A few months ago our church began to look ahead towards Easter and the celebration that was forthcoming. There was a Good Friday service (something I don't remember ever going to!) and the pastor wanted to create a special, meaningful experience. In March we picked up a small burlap bag full of a few Bible verses and a blank card. On the card we were to write a lie we told ourselves, or one we believed that someone else told us.

I thought about this for awhile, because we are surrounded by lies every day - that we are not _______ enough, that we need _______ to look successful, or a myriad of other things that distract us from the truth about who we are and who God is. While I could have written down dozens of things, I simply chose one. The lie I wrote down was: I have to spend more time on myself in order to be happy.

Do Things that Take Awhile | Monday Musings

Do Things that Take Awhile | Monday Musings

I think I have always been a pretty introspective person, but I know I have become even more so after beginning to work from home full-time. All the silence around me gives time and space to think in between the work I have to get done, and I end up reflecting a lot on myself and the world around me. Monday Musings has become my space to share what I've been learning, and for those of you who have followed from the beginning, I'm sure you've seen my heart and mind molded slowly over time.

One thing I've noticed this year, more than ever, is the effect my phone has on me. I have taken some measures to reduce its impact. Right now I check social media twice a day only, and oftentimes when I'm working I'll put my phone on silent. I try to refrain from answering texts or emails while I'm spending intentional time with Nathan, though this is an area where I need to try a little harder.

Having a phone has led to a much shorter attention span, for me and everyone around me...

Signs of Growth - The Shoot & Share Contest // Personal

As most of you reading this would agree, we are often more critical of our own work than we are of anyone else's. That is definitely true for myself. It's hard to measure how much I've grown as a photographer. In all honesty, I want every single wedding, engagement, anniversary session, and family session to be better than my last. I try my hardest to look at my own work with a critical eye, because I never want to get comfortable. I always want to keep growing and getting better so I never get stagnant.

Sometimes, though, it's hard to commend yourself for the good work you're doing when you're always looking to be better. There's a healthy element to recognizing your growth and achievements, rather than always picking out the most negative side of your work. At times I've realized that if I had a boss as hard as me as I am to myself, I probably would have quit a long time ago!

Each year, there is a huge photography contest hosted by the folks over at Shoot and Share. I first heard about it last year, my first year in business, and was eager to enter a few of my pictures from the year. I remember being so disheartened when it came to voting time, however. It seemed that EVERYONE had better pictures than I did, and mine didn't even stand a chance of making it past the first round, let alone winning any sort of prize. It was all very discouraging, and it brought me down for a little bit of time.

This year, I was determined to enter again, and not let other's work get me down. When I began to look through my pictures, I was blown away. There are still so many things I want to improve, and so much I want to work on, but I was proud to enter pictures this year. I don't expect to win the grand prize (since it's as much about the style of the weddings as it is your pictures), but I felt like mine stood up to so many others in the same category as mine. There are so many photographers who are without a doubt better than I am, who can master light more, and who can see things that I am still training myself to see, but I've made a giant leap from where I was last year. 

I'm proud of what I did in 2014. I'm proud of so many family sessions, engagements, and weddings that I shot. I hope to be even better in 2015, but today, I'm choosing to take pride in how far I've come, instead of looking at how much farther I want to go.

Take pride in your work, friends. Sometimes, you're the only one who will on any given day. And that's more than enough for me.

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The annual Shoot & Share Photo Contest