south africa

I Can't Just Give Money | Personal

I Can't Just Give Money | Personal

It feels strange to say this but it's true: this blog post, and the heart behind it, has been a lifetime in the making. As a child I grew up overseas with parents who had a mission and purpose beyond just living a comfortable life and achieving the 'white picket fence' dream - it's something for which I'm forever grateful. Living in a third world environment for 9 years of my life has changed my perspective permanently.

It had been years since I had left the country when Nathan and I visited Africa in January. We have traveled a lot - PortlandSeattle, the Outer BanksCharleston, and Arizona, to name a few - but it has all been for fun vacations or getaways. This year's trip was for a greater purpose and sparked something inside of me that I had long ago forgotten...

Letters to Our (Future) Child // Personal

Dear Little One,
It honestly feels strange to call you that, since I don't know how little you are. In fact, you might not even have taken your first breath yet. I'm writing to you because I have these thoughts swirling around in my head that I've had for weeks now, and I want to get them out for you to read when you are much, much older.

It was a few weeks ago that I started thinking of you by name. No, I don't know if you are a boy or girl yet, but we are prepared for either one, and I don't care what you are! Everytime I think of our life together, I envision a girl, but your daddy envisions a boy. Either way, we just want YOU, whoever you are, boy or girl. When I started thinking of you by name, though, things changed.

I've thought of you for years now. Ever since I spent a summer working at Door of Hope in South Africa, I've known that I would be on a journey to bring you home one day. I've known for years that there's someone out there waiting for me to get them, even though you probably aren't even born yet. There's a certain calling that comes with being a mom, I believe, and I've known since I was 18 years old that I was called to be your mom.

I feel like I know you, even though I don't yet know anything about you. And I can't wait to find out who you are - what you like to eat, your favorite color, your first word. While I'm waiting for everything to happen, I just imagine that you are being made perfectly for your dad and me. That's what keeps me going as we faced our first round of delays this week.

Yes, we are 'behind schedule' (which you'll find out is a place I hate to be). Yes, it's not exactly what we planned, and it will probably change a million times between now and the time we get you. But either way, I have peace knowing that it's you we're getting. Whether we wait now or later, it doesn't matter. You are made for us, and we are made for you.

So, just get ready. Get ready for us. We feel so ready for you. And we can't wait to meet you someday soon.

Love,
Your (Future) Mom

Black and white landscape of the Roanoke Valley