I've talked before about struggling with balance in my life. Honestly, this may be one of the things that is a constant battle for me. I have the tendency to fall in love with everything I'm even a little bit good at, which isn't good for my time management and business. Back when Nathan and I got married, I had a million little hobbies. Longboarding, running, cooking semi-gourmet meals every day, playing drums...you name it. If I found out I could do it even a little bit, I was there.
It worked at the time, because Nathan was going to grad school and spent most evenings and weekends in the room I now run my business out of. He did that, and I did a ton of other things to keep myself occupied so I wouldn't get lonely. But then, after he stopped grad school, I started this business, and things have drastically changed.
I spend most nights and weekends working on my business. And I'm happy! I love it. But with all the time that I use on that, I have little time for other things, and I've really had to learn the hard way to start giving some stuff up. I think you (especially you ladies) can probably relate to me when I say that it's extremely difficult for me to say no to something. It's even harder for me to say no to myself.
Over the past year, I've had to give up drumming. It was just one of those things that I can't do anymore. I prioritized running and cooking, although a lot of my meals are quicker now, and everything else fell to the wayside. That was hard. Really hard. It took me an entire year of not touching my drumset even one time to finally sell the thing. It still makes me a little sad every time I think about it, but what's done is done.
A little over a month ago, I was given the amazing opportunity to play drums again. Nathan's band needed help with a gig, and I volunteered because I didn't want them to have to say no to it. And y'all, the practice beforehand was rough. I tried my best, I really did. I had listened to the songs over and over and knew exactly how I wanted to play them, but I couldn't get my hands to actually go through the motions and stay in beat. I hadn't played in over a year, and I'd had surgery on my shoulder in the meantime. I just couldn't play like I did before.
Thankfully, everything came together the next morning. All I can say is that God is good! We all played decently well, despite the freezing temperatures, and I was able to hold the beat together. At the time it was a major source of frustration that I couldn't play like I used to, but in the moments right after we played, I realized something important: I needed that.
I needed that moment where I remembered how much I loved drumming, but wanted to give it up anyways. I needed to remember WHY I gave one thing up - to do something I loved so much more. I needed to know that I had made the right decision and in that moment, as much as I was loving it, I realized I had done the right thing. And as hard as it is to give something up that used to define me throughout high school (I was in a band...for real!), I knew then that what I had given up was in view of a bigger dream, one that is slowly coming true each day. And that, THAT is a sweet realization.
Happy Sunday everyone! Here's some iPhone pictures of the gig :)
It was FREEZING!
