Before I could even get used to the fact that I was now engaged, the questions started pouring in: When is the big day? How did he ask? Where are you getting married? Where are you registered? How many guests? Where is the honeymoon? When is the date, what color are the linens and have you picked out a dress? The innocent and likely thoughtful questions continued for the duration of our 9-month engagement.
At the same time, my own questions, comparisons, and to-do lists flooded my mind. How BIG is our budget? What size is the ring? How small can my waist be? How long of a veil? How many bridesmaids, 3 or 4 tiers of cake? Will it be a buffet or plated meal, indoor or outdoor reception?
It’s only natural though, right? I mean, how can we have our BIG day without some way of measuring it, some means of comparison?
I want to let you know that the length of your guest list, the height of your cake or the size of the reception hall might feel extremely important in the moment…but after your BIG day is over and the dust settles, your marriage is what matters. And believe me, you can be legally married without picking the right shade of navy for your linens.
The somewhat pressuring questions do not stop at the wedding and your to-do lists, expectations, and comparisons don’t either. Instead of worrying about where your honeymoon is, you will be concerned with where your first home will be. Your distress over what color bridesmaid dresses to pick will turn into what color you will paint the walls in your first home. And soon enough, in my experience anyway, the questioning will shift to babies.
I am just not sure this cycle ever ends and looking back at my wedding, I couldn’t tell you the exact measurement of things or the number of this or that or the size I decided on for certain things. I can tell you that I married my best friend and it will always be one of the best days of my life.
My advice to you is not to get caught up in the specifics of everything. Focus on what really matters, the fact that you are getting married! My advice beyond the BIG day? Simple, don’t get caught up in the specific details of this and that and focus instead on the fact that you have started a new life that you are sharing with your best friend. Get rid of your to-do lists and expectations, because your reality will often times look very different than that list you made…maybe even better than you could have planned it yourself!
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